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At the Nexus of All Stillborn Worlds (Remaster MMXXI)

by Zealotry

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1.
Collapsing the structures of consciousness as the tendrils of thought extend through the manifold void to grasp and pull at the web of endless abstraction I pass through the barriers of slumber and break free of my corporeal form here at the nexus where impossibilities materialize cascading realities emerge out of the nothingness I float through the dimensionless ether linear perception fragmented and scattered into a mirrored mosaic showing reflections of infinite selves in infinite worlds each taking form with the blink of the mind's eye absorbing a fraction of me and I feel myself stray from myself drawn in by alluring improbability overwhelmed by that which could be the splintering of my identity collapsing the structures of consciousness now my sanity erodes with the unveiling of potentialities, endlessly decreated at the nexus of all stillborn worlds the eyes of my infinite selves stare back in maddening silence as the path leading back to my reality falls away I am lost in a labyrinth of my own mind's creation where the familiar has assumed a distorted disguise I am scared will this oneiric vastness forever entomb me? where is the doorway back to the waking world I recognize? I am faltering in this maze every exit is false at the end of each corridor lies a turn into endless uncertainty Is it me who is dreaming? Or am I one of those that never was - a figment in a stillborn reality? Release me! take me back beyond beyond the veil of impossibility absolve me of this static agony Collapsed the structures of consciousness never to be rebuilt the labyrinth crumbles and all that remains around me is the void Release me! take me back beyond beyond the veil of impossibility If I am not meant to be, then unmake me Collapsed the structures of consciousness the labyrinth is gone yet I remain at the nexus of all stillborn worlds
2.
Accursed 01:12
3.
Lethe is drawing her shroud around me casting a shadow over my mind a shadow that extends little by little, night after night my memories withering beneath it, in a place my consciousness cannot find there were names I once knew and faces I once recognized they now loom in a haze of obscurity not far from my mind, but forever lost to me tell me what it is I have lost what has been stolen from me tell me, but I cannot recall what you say wasting away in the clutches of this disease such is the plague that runs through my veins such is my curse to see my reality fade into dismal mirages slipping further and further into an unending, languid dream such is the plague that runs through my veins such is my curse to live what remains of my days as a burden and cast kith and kin into deepest despair as they watch me succumb as they watch me regress into obliviousness as they watch me deteriorate as they watch me forget Tighter and tighter, Lethe's shroud suffocates me darker and darker, the shadow envelops my mind the vessel of wisdom permanently enucleated all the bonds I have forged so cruelly severed tell me what it is I have lost what has been stolen from me lead me back to the light, but I'll always lose my way My sanity eroded by this disease
4.
Paleblood, Unshackle me from this dream Her memory no longer sustains my desire to go on Why must this night be unending? What nightmare remains to be slain? Where is the one who will take up this burden from me? unspoken the covenant confining me here to this fraudulent realm of stagnant tranquility timeless and forlorn Penitence for a hunter with a sickly soul he who becomes the beast he was sworn to destroy a villain I was blasphemous murderer, blood-crazed fiend still I fail to see how this captivity will absolve me The ritual revealed, the red moon looms ominous now Paleblood, is this at last the night that we part? The surrogate child which you craved can no more withstand your embrace. the newborn's cry silenced the dream stands ablaze My offer of absolution has been refused oh what a fool, to desire such an ending to seek to remain in this dream to usurp this miserable throne for countless more nights to awake and forget would be mercy but a blood-drunk beast must be put down good hunter, you'd do well to perish beneath my scythe "Venator Ah mi summus venata Anima tor feci so vre re mal? Venare insidiosus Mira tenebrarum Hic sic scitis miseriae aeterna"
5.
The Hole 05:52
Blood drips from bare walls of coarse stone Blood drips from beneath my avulsed fingernails as I mark my forty-first day alone alone in this hole through stuporous hours, engulfed in silence and sickly fluorescence bolt upright I sit and wordlessly stare into the cracks and the crevices awaiting the whispers' return They were timid at first vague shapes embedded in masonry hints of eyes, fangs and tentacles motion perceived where none could have been ephemeral to sight but not memory As the days passed the details coalesced into forms, vivid and tenebrous otherworldly and monstrous Next came the whispers ghostly voices, vibrating amidst the hum at the edge of the audible spectrum in eldritch, unknowable tongues, yet I understood imprisoned just outside the sphere of our world as alone and hungry as I they pled for emancipation for release into the realm that they once called their own They call out for offerings of blood and of semen, of skin and of hair deepening my obligation with each successive act of self-mutilation their voices grow louder and louder a harrowing unison of undefinable phonemes extolling the deed they show me their sigil a baffling scrawl of concentric shapes I trace it in blood on the floor reeling from the euphoria of exsanguination the shrieks are unceasing but still they will not emerge from their prison the minutes crawl by and the voices grow faint until eventually they disappear replaced by a silence that's broken only by my own weakening breath collapsed in the corner I stare at the cracks and the crevices but they do not return for me my vision fades I am betrayed and alone dying here in this hole
6.
Atomized and enervated we stumble blindly through the haze induced to languish in alienation reduced to wallow in paranoid speculation Constant cross-talk intoxicates browbeating the beaten-down at cross purposes prevaricate riven, futureless, in enmity we drown broken the promise of worldly endowment unshattered life such a callow conceit broken the mind of a profligate polity the harrowed embrace universal deceit obscured to us the threads of causality seized by the hands of covetous men moths to the flame of alluring conspiracy perpetuating false consciousness wellsprings of knowledge churn foul with their poison blurred is the line between wisdom and madness conjuring myths to lay claim to supremacy over what soon will be ashes lambs to the slaughter along with their scapegoats satanic mills retch forth effluvia parasites exalted as apex predators hurtling towards dystopia beggars in the shadow of opulence lepers in the lap of the gods nothing left to lose but these onerous chains will there remain a world to gain?
7.
Predation perfected borne upon wings of unstable dimensions and shapes above a city that drowns in their psychic excretions sleepwalking through terror below indomitable, rapacious severing the gossamer threads upon which the stratum of sanity is suspended so that they may drink of the nectar of sapience to slake a thirst that endures, unending for intimate contents of subconscious minds breaking the dams that hold back all hidden guilty thoughts, cravings, anxieties, delights mad, impenetrable, unspeakable menace in the clouds psychically contaminates the sky bleeds nightmares narcotizing patterns morphing ceaselessly upon their wings, paralyzing prey jagged tentacles and bone-serrated limbs probing tongues that seek to drain... drain of consciousness and leave behind an incapacitated, brain-dead husk ghastly and lascivious aerial ballet procreation in hermaphroditic lust Upon a distressed populace descends the glutinous effluvia of incomprehensible minds it rends asunder the membrane of sleep and haunts the sunlit realm Predation perfected lepidopteran monstrosities stalk the skies desperate strategies enacted to subdue the horror before all complex thought is undone lucidity is fading corrupted cognition saturates the void consort with devils to vanquish devils and pray that you are not yourself, in turn, destroyed
8.
Irredeemable 10:56
I awakened beneath the earth remembering nothing in a chamber of arcane machinery from a forgotten time Pale yellow light from some unseen source assaulted my eyes Then an elder emerged from the shadows beyond "This is where you reside now, child," His voice echoed diffuse throughout the vastness, "This is where I preserve the forgotten wonders from the time before the world was engulfed in fire. You will be my apprentice until the time comes that I pass from this world." Erudition came slowly to me, the child of an ignorant tribe with no written language Yet with time I came to know and comprehend the texts that the elder collected for safekeeping here in the vault chronicles of the days before the Deluge of Flames of the days when my kind still held dominion over this world when the tribes swelled in numbers to the thousands of thousands, united only in mutual distrust of the men by which they were led irredeemable men guided by ego and greed and fallacy and the weapons they made spears envenomed with poison that came from below poison the learned could turn into fire with the promise of death they kept one another at bay breeding contempt in the shadow of fragile prosperity Many could see the portents of a gathering storm as the tyrants arose in the foremost of tribes When prosperity crumbled and the throngs could not be mollified they cast forth their spears and set ablaze the skies And in an instant there was fire and in an instant there was doom and in an instant the towers they raised to the sky would all crumble to dust and the wonders they built through the ages fell into silence for those few who remained would not reclaim the lightning that brought them to life Then the books closed, lessons completed so he spoke, "Yours is to return the light to this world when the fallen discover the wisdom they never quite found, you must open the vault." And he bade me venture out among them, concealing my face and intent. To know of the tribes and seek out who leads them for theirs shall the purview become when the splendor returns. Not long thereafter he passed from this world and left me in solitude a mortal empowered as godlike granted command over all I surveyed. And as I was bidden, I would journey forth among the scattered tribes and I would witness their pitiful state consumed by ignorance, avarice and hate imperious lords compelling their subjects with iron fists and poison tongues as in antiquity, hopelessly lost ever unworthy, still irredeemable I watch the moon cycle and feel myself age three-score winters have passed since I first woke underground My flesh grows weary yet they remain the same thrall to the vice that compels from on high War without end a bounty of grief birthright to every child brought into this world Beyond salvation still I hold the key to their fate grandeur I bring forth embodied in death Is this act righteous or have I succumbed to madness as all gods eventually must? From beneath the mountains I summon the spears the moment of their absolution is finally here.

credits

released December 7, 2018

Recording lineup:
R. M. Temin - Vocals
Phil Tougas - Lead & Rhythm Guitars, Backing Vocals
Jake Himelfarb - Rhythm Guitars
Alex Zalatan - Drums
Aodán Collins - Bass

Choirs on tracks 1, 7 & 8 by Thomas Parnelle
Piano on track 2 by François Bilodeau

All lyrics by Temin, except track 7 by Temin & China Miéville

Produced by R.M. Temin & Phil Tougas
Engineered, Mixed & Mastered by Xavier Berthiaume at Studio Tehom, Montreal, QC
Drums recorded by Brett Hobin at Hobin Studios, Baldwinsville, NY
Additional engineering by Tougas, Himelfarb, Sean Hart and Dane Abernathy
Artwork by Alex Eckman-Lawn
Layout by Eric Musall

remastered in August, 2021 to maximum dynamic range by N. Watchurst

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